Passages 19

Sandy Point - #10 Big Tree Lane: 8 PM

Late, sweating, Rennie taking a shower and me checking calls from two weeks. Vince crawling up my back. Gemma, that was a good one. Called back on that one, and maybe she’s not as positive as she claimed to be last time I saw her, but we got a meeting tomorrow at her place. Not sure where that is, address somewhere way the hell out in the north; I’ll make it. Definitely I am making it.

My stomach was turning around and around. Should eat and didn’t want to eat, and had nothing in here to eat. Light bulb burned out. I had some stuff in the bedroom under the table, or maybe I’d used it already and maybe shouldn’t think about it. What the hell was I thinking to bring that girl with me?

And there she was sitting out on the porch and writing whatever girls write in their little books. Rennie had herself a Martin though and kind of thinking she wasn’t writing chick poems in her book. She’d come down out of the bathroom and stomped my Strat through some shit I knew I couldn’t do.

I went outside and took her little notebook and looked at it and she’s way over her head. She’s good, got a touch, and voice like her daddy would if he was a girl but she can’t do that. "Come on you can't play that. Me I don't think I can play that. That's Coop's riff from Ashes at Night."

"No it's not,” she says and she got up and perched her sweet ass on the rail and said again, “Not exactly."

Tossed it down and sat on the swinging chair and looked at her, thinking about it. Vince wouldn’t like it, not sure about the rest of them, but you get you an angle and you’re one dumb fool if you don’t follow it when it hits you. She was better than what we had, a hell of a lot better, interesting to put up a fucking hot girl who could shred it instead of that idiot we had. Later though, not now. "Yeah you're right,” I said to her wanting to see how she took it, “you made it girly."

She curled up and put her hands on those pretty bare toes and smiled and didn’t give up. "A girly riff you said you can't play. I can play it; I wouldn’t have written it if I couldn’t play it."

She might be right. Kind of a nice moment, me and my smokes, one very extremely fine girl who can shred and smack it back at me. Felt good to be with her. Real good. I’m thinking, damn, I can get used to this. Trouble but me, I can deal with trouble like this, and it’s the best kind of trouble. Pure perfect trouble, the melody you want and you work to get. And then I asked her, “You want to use the phone? Call Cooper and let him know where you are?”

She got up and walked away and said, “I don’t want him to know where I am yet. He can wait.”

It was starting to spit rain, and the wind was blowing, and I heard what she was saying but didn’t get it, and something about the whole deal started to turn in another direction. She couldn’t do that to me, that would fuck up everything. Everything turning dark, I got up and followed her and tried to explain it to her. “Rennie, you can’t do that. You got me in a bind if you do that. I might have a deal with his label – you’re gonna piss him off. Go call him.”

“I said,” she said to me, snapping hard, “that I am not ready to do that. If you want a deal with my father, that’s not my problem. Close it yourself.”

Sucking air hard, Ren standing there like it was nothing and this was my whole damned life I yelled, “What the fuck? What kind of shit attitude is that? Why’d you come with me if you don’t give a damn what you do to me?”

She swirled off and ran down the stairs and said, “I don’t know why I came with you. I don’t know what I’m doing here. I do know I’m not your ticket to my father. Nobody uses me as a ticket to him.”

Wasn’t sure if I thought she was but considering everything, she was more like a ticket out than a ticket in.

I had me an agent, and a good one, and a chance. What I didn’t know was why this girl had come with me. You know sometimes you ask a girl to come and you don’t think she will. Surprised the hell out of me that she took me up on it, and now that she was here, she wasn’t just any old girl. She was Cooper’s kid. And she was getting to be a hell of lot more than that. She had her some good choices so why’d she come with me if she was acting like that? “You want to tell me why you thought you were coming with me?”

She sat down on one of the pilings and dug her nails into it and said, “You know that guy at the gas station? You remember him?”

Hard to forget that asshole but didn’t get to the answer for the question I’d asked. I was taking a breath and trying to listen to her and, for a girl, she didn’t talk much. She was waiting and watching me and finally she said, “He’s Gabe’s son. I was hooking up with his son. You don’t have any idea what that feels like. I never finish anything, I never get done with anything, it’s all still out there, I run away from one thing and end up in the same place. Nobody I ever meet is outside of it, and I just want some time to think about it. I want to finish it, and I don’t know how yet. But I will do it, Jimmy. I will finish it. And I thought you'd give me, I don't know, some space, without my Dad or my mother.”

Thunder coming from the west, storm coming in, not going to sit out on the beach and get me struck with some lightning. What was she trying to say to me? I still didn’t get all of it but know this, I didn’t want to make her fight for it by herself. The guy at the gas station, maybe I wasn’t up to that, and her? Safer without the girl, she’s like a lightning rod bringing it down on me, didn’t matter, didn’t want her to go and now I was worried she would. Sparkly silky little crazy bitch. Got down in the water and said, “Yeah but Ren, I’m outside all that shit.” And took a real deep breath and told her, “Rennie, I want you to stay. Stay here with me. But you got to take care of that. You got to call him, you can’t throw me under the bus like that. You don’t want to do that, do you?”

“You’re scared of my father,” she said, smiling, making it soft, dark satin voice, sliding her arm around my shoulder. “Is that it? It’s just about him? That’s the price I pay to stay here? I protect you from Cooper?”

“Hell yeah.”

“You’ve got more than my dad to be scared about.” She didn't say it like a girl teasing me with it; she said it straight. She didn't look away and she didn't move. Sky opened up emptying rain on us on both of us.

And I took her face in my hands, lightning ripping the air wide open, and let it go. All of it. “Shut up,” I told her. “Shut up Rennie….”


NEXT CHAPTER: Chameleon Chapter 8


Muzegoddess said...

I really love seeing things from Jimmy's persepctive and I think the first person POV really works when it comes to these two.

He's between a rock and a hard place now, but what did he think was going to happen taking her with him? But I guess he really wasn't thinking when he asked, just did what felt right in the moment. It seems like they're begining to drop some of the pretense and peel back another layer of each other. And maybe even a little romance blooming.

Maybe the Toad isn't so bad afterall, at least for now. He certainly has some insecurities that I didn't see before.

Wonderful writing and shots as usual.

Muzegoddess said...

Oh, and I had my speakers on mute so I didn't hear the song before. Excellent choice.

Phoenix said...

Oh! oh! I really enjoy Jimmy's voice. You slid right into it as if you owned it and it worked abso-freakin' perfectly.

I don't like that fact that Raine seems as if she's playing games again. Sure, I can understand not wanting to be someone's ticket in but he has a lot riding on this. Coop can crush his career and not even look back! :(

Your pictures and writing were stunning as always! Enjoy your mini-break girl!:P

S.B. said...

Muzegoddess, that song made it for me. I took the shots before I wrote it, and fell into that song, and found the words. Sounds stupid but that's what happened.

Toad is scared. He's blown a lot of chances, and he might blow this one. He didn't think. Rayne didn't think. He asked and she said yes, and there they are. Staring at each other.

I went into one of my OMG I can't do first person POV without an excuse panics. And then just decided, who cares. With these two, it works, and that's how it has to be.

Thank you so much. I was so worried it wasn't going to work.

Qui. said...

I love how he calls her Rennie! It's like "I know what your name is but I'M calling you Rennie!"
I like this pair! Still got a little thing for Cruz but I really like Jimmy!

I need to learn how to make chapters like this! short and to the point!

as always, great update!

S.B. said...

Phoenix, I adore Jimmy. And I can hear his voice so clearly so THANK YOU!!!

Rayne plays games and she's got her own agenda and and she's suspicious about men using her to get to her father. Coop would squash Jimmy like a bug and never look back, and if he thinks Jimmy talked his daughter into leaving rehab, he'll do it with pleasure.

S.B. said...

Oh Qui, keeping the chapters short and to the point is a personal mercy. It makes me focus. It's a lot easier than what I used to do.

Jimmy does own her name, doesn't he? And that's an utterly romantic thing, at least as far as I'm concerned! These two have a long way to go, and Cruz is still there, but I love them together. I really do.

Penelope said...

I feel like Rayne never truly knows what she wants (apart from that whole Gabe business) and then gets thrust into situations that don't end well. And this does not promise to be any exception. Her problem isn't that she never finishes things but that she should have never gotten involved in the first place. If she just forgot about Gabe and Ryan and Cruz (even with as much as I like Cruz) and definitely forgot about Kurt Cobain up there and gave herself some me-time, maybe she would be happier. She has every advantage in life and yet she's miserable. But maybe if she had more structure, went back to school, followed a career... I feel bad for her. She spends so much time chasing happiness and not knowing exactly where that happiness is hiding. It's nearly futile.

But yeah, she's so way out of Toad's league. :D

Gayl said...

I adore how every little thing that Jimmy says about Rayne has a word that is endearing. Sweet.Sparkly. Silky. Pretty. Neither one of them knows what they have in the other but I think Jimmy already has a good idea about that. Rayne will figure it out too. She is already starting to see it. What she does with it though will be interesting.

And she realizes that she has been chasing her tail and no longer wants to do that. One step toward growing up.

I loved this. Just loved it. Talk about sparkle. This piece shines brightly.

S.B. said...

Pen, I'm going to have to come back to this. Got a shock with what you said for a lot of reasons. But yes, it's not about endings, it's about why you start it to begin with. Rayne has no identity other than Cooper's daughter, and she wants more, but what she wants, she can't get. Her brother Wyatt has no problem knowing where he wants to go.

She is definitely way out of Toad's league. But that may not matter if he can offer her a way out.

I am always so happy to get a comment from you because you always make me think!

S.B. said...

Gayl, if I captured his voice, I am sparkling myself!

Jimmy's falling in love. Every little thing he sees in her is pretty. He's not anywhere near her social status, and he's a total wastoid, but he sees her. She can destroy him. Or he can do something to make an enormous difference in her life, if he can keep himself together. If they both can. And that's problematic.

But I do think he's got something she needs, and she definitely has something he needs. Access to her father.

thank you again. You created Jimmy, and I'm always sort of 'did I get his voice right'.

Sinclair said...

There she goes again manipulating people. As entertaining as she is thats a bad habit. She's gotta stop playing people. Especially when they're cool like Toad. He's been nothing but positive for her. She shouldnt play with that. I hope she doesnt screw him over. He doesnt need that from her.

S.B. said...

Sinclair, yes, there she goes again. And one of these days she's going to be slammed LOL! Toad's completely freaked about her messing things up for him, obviously.

But this time, I think he's got something she wants. They're good together. Lopsided and odd and not going to work in a straight line, but maybe.

Dinuriel said...

I like these two together so much. They're like two highly unstable elements that combine to make a harmless, useful compound. He's sodium, she's chlorine, they're table salt. Okay, that was a horrible metaphor. But you know what I mean. Of all the guys Raine's been involved with, Jimmy seems to be the only one who really gets her. Cruz tried, bless his beautiful heart, but they are so, so different--Jimmy and Raine are almost two sides of same coin.

Of course, the whole Cooper business really throws a wrench in the gears. Can't wait to see how all this turns out. Totally worth stealing Wi-Fi from my aunt's neighbors :)

S.B. said...

Van, yes. Two very unstable elements clashing together and combining and coming up with something that may be stable. Jimmy gets her. Cruz, he tried, and he still might continue to try, but it's not there. I adore your chemical comparison! Love it love it! Shove science at me all day long please!

Cooper. He could and would rip up Jimmy's aspirations, ex wife clone notwithstanding, actually Gemma getting in the middle of it would piss him off even more.

and Jimmy knows it. And Rayne knows it.

AtomicSpaceKitty said...

Mmmm! That's been building for awhile--kind of like the storm that was brewing out at sea. Sexy Jimmy! I'm definitely falling for him. He has the drugs tempting him, but he really wants his life and career to work out. I also like how he's already considering asking his Rennie if she'd be in his band. Perhaps they could be what each other needs to heal themselves. It seems like if Rayne and Jimmy can team up then they would be a force to be reckoned with both in the music scene and in life. Maybe they are soulmates???

Lotus said...

Huzzah! Romance, even the troubled, unhealthy, unstable kind, is my elixir of life. I loved Cruz, but I have an incurable soft spot for bad boys, so this pairing is perfect. The last picture has me wanting more. I'm so eager to see how this develops.

You've definitely breathed life into Jimmy in this chapter. I admit, I rarely like first person perspective and, unfortunately, this is no exception. It never spoiled the chapter, I just felt that the transition from Rayne to Jimmy didn't work for me. Nonetheless, the impact of Jimmy's development in this chapter still shines through.

And the nickname Rennie is adorable. Nicknaming someone is generally an intimate gesture, whether or not it's intended that way, and will just make them all the more memorable to each other. I like where this is going!

Christi said...

WOW WOW WOW!!!! SB this was fantastic. I love all of the dynamics of Jimmy and his voice. I can tell you really 'get' him... he's very strong. I like the 1st person POV and the fact that he thinks so disjointedly... great characterization! And I absolutely love the ending... i could imagine him kissing her right there. :D

I love him! haha.

The Lunar Fox said...

I love the chemical comparison of these two. It's true, they're both unstable, and in that instability, they understand one another like no one else probably can.

I love Cruz, but not for Rayne. With Rayne, he almost seems too much of a possibly going to protect her force, and she doesn't need that. She needs consequences and to think about someone other than herself.

So I actually love the part where he confronts her, and tells her that he needs her to call her father. He only does it, not because he cares about her, but because his ass is on the line. Love it!

Cooper is freakin' scary when it comes to his kids. I saw how he dealt with Wyatt's teacher/lover.

But if Jimmy thinks he's outside of it, I think he's wrong. He's knee deep now.

S.B. said...

Kara, oh I hope they are soulmates! I'm such a cynic, but these two definitely work together well. Jimmy sure has his own brand of charm! He needs to take care of himself around Rayne. He is sexy, isn't it ha! Thank you!

S.B. said...

Lotus, I was concerned about using the first person POV in this chapter. I'll try to come up with something else less distracting. Maybe there's a better way to do it.

I had no idea you enjoyed romance! I don't go there a lot, but this time I think you'll see some developing. Those two have a ways to go yet though.

I love your point about the nickname. Giving someone a nickname that is unique is a very special and memorable gesture. Rayne gave one to Jimmy (although I don't think he appreciated it, not at first - Toad isn't particularly endearing LOL).

S.B. said...

Christi, thank you! As a character, Jimmy comes through very clearly for me, and I'm glad it works for you. We didn't anticipate anybody really liking him so the reaction has been wonderful!! the ending? Both of these people are physical, sensual, and they already appreciate each other. Did he kiss her? Since it's Jimmy, I doubt he passed up the opportunity.

S.B. said...

Lunar Fox, You're absolutely right about Cruz. He complained and argued with Rayne, but his strongest instinct is to protect her. In his defense, he saw the collapse up close. Jimmy didn't. But even if Jimmy had, he's fighting hard to keep his own head together and can't spare much sympathy for Rayne. His ass is definitely on the line, and hers is not. And yeah, Cooper will come down hard when he thinks his kids are threatened.

Jimmy sure is knee deep in it. And sinking fast LOL!

Thank you!!!

radsims said...

Are these two good for each other or bad? Better as friends or as lovers? I still can't decide, but I am still loving their banter and am really enjoying seeing more and more of the real Jimmy coming through.

S.B. said...

Honestly Rad, I'm not sure either. Very very bad for each other might come out! Jimmy's an interesting person to work with, that's for sure. Thank you!

cheripye said...

I really loved the change of perspective from Rayne to Jimmy. Interesting indeed and he does seem to be a better guy than I initially thought when he was first introduced 80) He seemed actually concerned for her, although it was prevelant that he was concerned about being tossed under the bus.

Are they going to be good for eachother? I hope so, sometimes a friend suffering the same is better for you to help you get through. Although sometimes not.

Beautiful update and I loved the dark moody screens, they were utterly gorgeous. Cant wait to see what occurs next. 80)


~Drew said...

Wonderful, astonishing shots, deep in emotion and depth, and dare I say, romance, especially the ones on the beach.
Jimmy's Cajun cadence is very interesting on so many levels, But, I do love Cruz. Probably 'cause he's Gabe's son. Would love to see him make a go of his car/garage business...hey, he can call his business 'Cruz Control'. OK. Back in my hole...great update! Fantastic shots~

S.B. said...

cheri, I always worry about the lighting in the darker scenes. Too much and it spoils the mood. Too dark and everything blends together. I learned a lot from Mao's lighting tutorial, and I still use it.

I'm glad the change in POV worked for you. I'm going to be careful with that in the future since it could be distracting.

Jimmy's no hero but then Rayne's no heroine. Obviously they both have problems, and they both have addiction issues. That's still out there, completely unresolved.

Thank you!

S.B. said...

LOL Drew yeah there's definitely some romance going on! Thank you so much for the compliment on the shots.

Cruz won't be disappearing, not right away. Just have to find a way to tie things up for him one way or another, and I adore 'Cruz Control'! That's so clever!!

It's always wonderful to hear what you think. Thank you!

xtinabobina said...

I was hoping for some sexual tension between these two!!

I really like seeing all this from a new perspective. It's the only way to share an epiphany with Rayne on her road to..wherever..(hopefully a road of better choices and clarity)!

haha, (reading Drew's comment), I have to agree! We need some Cruz in the spotlight. We know where Rennie/Jimmy are at this moment, but I'm dying to know how Cruz is regaining his foundation after being knocked off his feet by a whirlwind named Rayne!

Plus, I just down right miss his sexy ass! <3

Another great update ladies! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

S.B. said...

Hey Xtina - thank you back SO much!

When I do another of these, and I'm not sure when, I'll do something with Cruz. I haven't forgotten him!

collidingwithme said...

Firstly, I must say that you and Gayl do have a thing with writing. :) It was a wild emotional roller coaster ride with all the characters, and boy! You guys have a lot of characters to focus on! I'm always especially awed by stories that has a lot of main characters. ^^

I sympathised with Rayne, then started disliking her, felt like she deserved it and finally is on her side again, after I saw how she is trying to make it up for her misdeeds. Haha, what a journey. I hope this "sneak-out" doesn't cost her something. :\ I agree with everything Penelope said about Rayne, by the way. That is a total spot-on! It's like, you get what you want, but what you want isn't what you need. :(

Jimmy, on the other hand, is not someone I trust, though. I know some people commented that they like the dynamics between him and Rayne. I do too, but, you know, he doesn't seem like a good person to me. He's asking Rayne to break rules with him just because it's "cool" or coz of the "I do what I want" attitude *roll eyes* (sorry, I hate people who say that. I think it's super ultimate immature. ugh.) So... yea, I dont like him. :P

You shouldn't have worried about using first person's POV here. I think it worked out perfectly and got us right into their heads! Awesome update! :D

S.B. said...

Hi Ning!! I was so excited to get a comment from you!

Thank you so much for the compliment on the writing. Gayl and I both enjoy the process and love working together. I guess we do still have a lot of main characters altho we got rid of some of them, and those that we have left we try to keep in their own lanes LOL!

I'm glad you reacted like that to Rayne. She was a very spoiled and self centered girl. She's growing up, but she's not there yet. The liaison with Jimmy throws two immature, irresponsible and impulsive young people together with very little in the way of brakes. I don't think Jimmy really expected her to leave with him. He's certainly not prepared to take care of her, and Rayne doesn't know how to take care of herself. It's a volatile, dangerous situation.

We've explored the 'bad boy' phenomenon with a couple of our characters (e.g., Rafe and Gabe). In those two cases, they turned out very different. Rafe grew up. Gabe descended into almost sociopathic narcissism, the perpetual selfish child. It will be interesting to see where Jimmy goes. At this point, Cooper is right to be concerned.

From here on, the Passages storyline will track very closely with both Rising Above and Sessions. The most recent Sessions update begins to pull the same thread.

Again, I am thrilled that you took the time to read and very grateful for the encouraging comment. Thank you!!

Rachel said...

Man...I just don't know how I feel about this relationship yet. Jimmy's thoughts are all over the place--he vacillates between worrying about his career, admiring Rayne's form, and admiring Rayne's musical skills.

I'd be interested to see Rayne's thoughts during this exchange...I'm sure I'll get the gist of them soon.

S.B. said...

Hi Rachel!

Jimmy's definitely on edge. He likes Rayne, he's close to besotted, but he never expected her to really come with him and he's not sure what he's going to do with her, or whether she's a good thing or a mistake. Even under the best of circumstances he's not the most organized thinker in the world LOL!

thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment!