Passages 17

Oceanside: Starfish Cove Wellness Center

J's Journal 1

First night here. Puked my guts out. At least I got my smokes. I can't sleep, don't want to sleep. Been staring at that big rock out in the ocean. Stared at it all day. Saw Cooper Stanfield, larger than life, right here on the beach walking around with one extremely fine girl. Thought he had some kind of trouble with that, reason he quit touring, so who’s that? No matter, ain’t my business. He’s set up for life and I’m out here fighting the shakes.

J's Journal 2

Got some shit for not writing in the book. Made a mistake in group and talked about my nightmare. Writing it down don't make it go away. Got to get through this and get out. Get back to my music. I know what they want; I'll toss them a bone. All I got is my music. No one's gonna take it from me. Ought to just up and leave but I gotta keep my band, my music. That was the deal.

J's Journal 3

Gemma come to see me today, said something about a contract, shopping me around, working a deal with Cooper's label. That's a good thing right? Means I got something to go back to. Didn't know Cooper had himself a daughter until I ran into her last night. Right under my nose all this time pounding on my damn wall. Might be I can use this. Girl's got her own demons.

J's Journal 4

Damn Rennie’s one very fine little girl, fine and broken golden glass. Didn't want to say what I thought about her deal, whoever it was she fucked or fucked her. It's not right, her momma's boyfriend, he’s gotta be one sick son of a bitch, didn’t know it was Ren yeah right. I know wasted and I’d know if I got that in bed. Hey Princess, take another look at yourself though; no reason to think you're better than me. And where's she get off calling me 'toad'?

J's Journal 5

If that don't beat all, Cooper Stanfield brings his little girl a Martin. Ebony bridge, long saddle, ebony bridge pins, vintage nickel tuners. What's she gonna do with it? Smash it against the wall most likely. I would like to get my hands on that acoustic. Yeah the guitar. Need to get that girl out of my head.


R: Day Seven

Dad blew in and blew out and brought his Martin for me. I wasn't expecting that and I'm kind of excited. Something's not right with him though. He didn't stay long and he paced around the terrace and took a call and talked for about 15 minutes standing in the corner under the tree. I don't even remember the last time I could see how someone felt. Could I ever? It feels like I have eyes now. Is that new or did I always have them and didn't know it?

R: Day Eight

Mom called. I told her I don't want to go back to university. I was expecting her to argue with me but she didn't. It's hard to talk to her; Ryan's always between us and I guess he always will be. She asked if I was eating and said Nic stopped by and did I need socks and underwear. I tried to use the 'eyes' thing on her but maybe it doesn't work through the phone. I wonder if she even likes me anymore. She wanted to get off the phone. I could see that much. Felt kind of shitty the rest of the day. Played with the Martin but stayed inside. Toad banged on the door. I let him bang for a long time before I went out and sat on the beach with him. Kind of wondering where he's from and why he's so fucked up, but I’m not going to ask. I know what it’s like to have something you can’t share.

R: Day Nine

Ate lunch with Toad. I'm tired of eating by myself, that's all. He saw Dad bringing in the Martin and wanted to know what I was doing with it. I wouldn't tell him. A Martin? What’s a Martin? Oh you mean that guitar? That front desk girl kept hanging around staring at us; actually I think she was staring at the Toad. He was tilting back in the chair and flirting with her. God she must be really desperate if she thinks he's hot. It was annoying. I told her to go find a phone and answer it and Jimmy laughed at me.

R: Day Ten

I let Toad come into my room. I know what he wanted, he wanted to get his hands on the Martin. I didn't let him, not yet. He spent a long time looking at some photos I hung up, me and Nic and me and Cruz. "Those are the guys you told me about?" he wanted to know. What, like I would hang up pics of Gabe and Ryan? I sat down on the couch and watched him look at them, and just told him, "No." His turn to get the laughter in his face. He was a little pissy about it. He's actually not bad looking, and he's cute when he's mad. Let him wonder about Nic and Cruz.

Day Eleven

A cool clear evening, and Rayne took the Martin out on the beach and sat down and ran her fingers across the strings, pulling out quiet music. Dreaming music. She hummed, sang softly, closing her eyes and finding the chords and the rhythm she wanted. It was an old song but one she loved and one she'd changed to suit her voice and her mood.

"Rennie, what the hell, girl you can play?"

Rayne set the Martin down and looked up. Jimmy had found a way to sit up on the edge of the terrace wall, a perilous perch, and he was way way up there looking down, watching her with a very, very satisfactorily astonished expression. She tossed her hair back and smiled. "Of course I can. Come on down, show me what you can do."

She sat back, waiting, silent, hearing the music in her mind, Jimmy striding out and curling up next to her in the wet sand. "Damn, that’s good, Ren," he said. "No shit, I mean it. I never heard it done like that. How’d you come up with that riff? It might be better a little faster though. I can show you, if you want."

No he never had heard it done like that, and it was extremely sweet to hear it from him; he was good and he didn’t have any reason to bullshit her. “Sure! I said show me what you can do. So show me.”

Jimmy pulled the Martin into his lap, long fingers sliding across the frets, making the guitar moan and sigh. He changed up, replayed what she'd created, the same long, complex, quiet and intricate riff, but subtly different, richer, and even more melancholy, then he stopped and looked at her.

He placed the Martin gently to the side, stood up and glanced away from her and then back, lit a cigarette, dragged hard, flicked it still lit and burning away into the surf. “Rennie,” he said quietly, “tomorrow, it’s gonna be my last day here. I got something to do, and I’m cutting out. I was thinking, maybe you don’t want to stay either. You got a guy waiting for you? Something you want to go back to?”

Stunned, Rayne didn’t move, staring up at him, blank. What was he saying? Or asking, was he asking her something? What did she have to go back to? Cruz? She didn’t want to see him yet; she might never want to see him. Home? With her mother? That was never going to work. If she left now, she’d disappoint her father, and that was just about the only thing she clearly did not want to do, disappoint him. Maybe she would anyway though; no matter what she did, she wasn’t Wyatt. She couldn’t see her way; it was all dark and cloudy in every direction, nothing but darkness behind her and nothing much ahead except the strange road right in front of her. All she had to do was take it.


NEXT CHAPTER: Sessions Chapter 23


Qui. said...

Ok, I'm falling in love with this pair! "God she must be really desperate if she thinks he's hot." whatever girl! "He's actually not bad looking, and he's cute when he's mad. Let him wonder about Nic and Cruz." lol i thought so!

Looks like he has grown on her! I wonder what she will do.

S.B. said...

LOL Qui! I think he's growing on her all right.

What will she do? Piss off her father by ditching rehab and running off with someone he despises? Maybe.

Jimmy's got an interesting connection too.

Thank you so much! Gayl and I are both sort of in love with this pair. Neither of them is stable, nowhere near stable.

Gayl said...

I've probably already told you just about everything I think about these two and this update. At this point you have just begun to scratch the surface of what is going on with Jimmy and with Rayne.

They are definitely growing on each other and now they have that connection...the music. I got quite a chuckle at Jimmy wanting to get his hands on that Martin...uh huh...the Martin...right.

You can see how they are going to challenge each other. And Rayne has a decision to make, stick it out or split and upset her father. Coop will burst a vein he'll be so livid.

Wonderful wonderful job with these shots...every one is unique and stunning. I loved it!

The Lunar Fox said...

Yeah, I had a good chuck each time the Martin came up. Or maybe it was more of a snicker, lol. But then I am a perv.

I like where Rayne is becoming a little more aware of the people around her. That's such progress, it's wonderful to see. And it's wonderful that she's aware of this apparent change in herself. How disorienting something like that can be!

Jimmy is a very interesting character. There's a lot about him I would like to know.

S.B. said...

Thank you for everything Gayl. I hope I did him justice.

S.B. said...

Lunar Fox, I really considered keeping all of this quiet since it is not very good. But it is, of course, a hobby, so it doesn't have to be all the great!

Rayne's starting to see. Some of what she's going to see is not pretty. Sort of doubt she's ever going to be comfortable around her mother.

Jimmy is different. Very very different background than Rayne. I think Gayl said he might have been happier as a street musician, but sometimes people with talent get thrust into situations they're not prepared to deal with.

thank you so much. You're such an incredible writer, your support means a great deal to me.

Phoenix said...

I don't even remember the last time I could see how someone felt. Could I ever? It feels like I have eyes now. Is that new or did I always have them and didn't know it?

That part right there made me smile. She's been like a caterpillar in its cocoon and now that she's slowly breaking out everything looks different. I hope that she can keep this fresh perspective. She'll need it in order to not fall back into the same patterns again.

And look at ol' Toad who is now Jimmy. That's great! I love the dynamics between the two of them. Him being such a perv in the beginning only to see so much more of her.

My heart thumped at the part when he talked about maybe using what he had learned o get in with Cooper. I hope it doesn't come to that.

Wonderful, WONDERFUL writing. I like the...scattered feeling of it. So much like a journal. Journals aren't neat and perfect. They're raw and real...just as this is.

And your shots just add to that!:)

S.B. said...

Oh Phoenix thank you. Yes she is starting to come out of her cocoon.

Jimmy uses what he can use. Rayne's not naive, but she has her own definition of ethics. She wouldn't appreciate being used although if it wasn't her father, not sure she would have a problem with it. Cooper will see through that in a red hot minute anyway.

thank you thank you. We both wanted to continue with the journals, and the writing is as much Gayl's as it is mine. Only the good parts though.

Whymustallthegoodonesbetaken said...

Your pictures never cease to amaze me! Absolutely beautiful!

There is some definite chemistry between the two isn't there? I like it!
Can't wait to see what Rayne's decision will be..also I want to know who that Julia look alike is and what's her story?

Dinuriel said...

I totally love these two. They're one of those train wreck couples that probably shouldn't rush into things, but you read about them and you just want to see them together.

Plus it's cute how he pronounces her name "Ren". And they would probably have unconventionally good-looking children, which is pretty much the jackpot in terms of Sims.

I wonder why Cooper hates Jimmy so much. Or did I miss something somewhere?

*sits back and waits to find out what Rayne does*

Muzegoddess said...

I think I'm begining to love to hate the Toad. He's such a colorful character. Trying to control my urge to scream at Rayne to run away from him fast. They seem like two lost souls almost afraid to be found. One of them is gasoline and the other is the match; one false move and there might be an explosion. If she seriously considers leaving with him I might just kill her.

The shots are amazing. I don't think you know how to take a bad one. And I really like the journal format, especially the Toad's.

S.B. said...

Hi Whymust! Thank you so much! I couldn't get the animation right for sitting on the beach playing the guitar.

The Julia look alike will appear in the next Sessions update, and we're working on that. I have to decorate a truly large and ugly room and I've been putting it off...

S.B. said...

Hey Dinuriel! Cooper doesn't hate Jimmy personally. He despises Jimmy for being a fuck up, someone who continually causes nothing but trouble for everyone around him. Somebody he definitely doesn't want influencing his somewhat fragile daughter.

and of course the same thing could be said about Rayne. She certainly drags a black cloud behind her.

I'm glad you picked up on the different way he pronounces her name. There's some chemistry between them! And the potential for a lot of trouble.

They probably would have unconventionally good looking children. Hmmmm....

S.B. said...

oh Muzegoddess, thank you. It rained continually for every single shot, which changes the color and the tone, and maybe that helped. Your shots are so beautiful, that compliment means a great deal to me.

Rayne is more lost than Jimmy. She had that one driving motivation, somewhere she was determined to go, and now that's gone. Leaving a hole she's not sure she wants to study and has no idea how to fill.

Jimmy could be good for her, or very very bad.

~Drew said...

I think the journally (not a word, but who cares) POV's work here. Esp. Fried Brain, his scattered, fractured thoughts fit him perfectly, and make him very interesting. And he doesn't beat around the bush, either.
Again, great shots. If you ever figure out the 'playing the guitar while sitting on the beach thing', I would love to know!!

Wonderful update!

radsims said...

I love Jimmy - he's such an intriguing character and very good looking. I like the spark between him and Rayne though I am not sure whether to be excited she's moving on with someone who gets her or worry that she's not ready to enter his world yet.

Beautiful shots, as always. Love this setting - send some more characters to rehab just so we can see it more!

S.B. said...

Thanks Drew - Jimmy's a lot of fun to work with! No he sure doesn't beat around the bush, not at all.

If I figure out how to get that animation, I'll let you know. I had instructions but I couldn't understand them, and now I can't find them!

S.B. said...

Rad, I think he's a real honey LOL!

I don't either of them are ready to get back in his world. Rayne's definitely not.

Oh I know, I love that lot! Maybe somebody will buy it and turn it into a hotel!

Thanks so much!

AtomicSpaceKitty said...

I just keep getting more and more drawn to Jimmy. I wonder if the toad will turn into a prince...or at least a prince with a tarnished crown? ;)

I'm so looking forward to seeing more of these two together. They really riff off of each other nicely.

I also really enjoyed seeing part of the story from Jimmy's POV. I hope there will be more of that in future updates.

S.B. said...

Thank you so much ASK, and thanks again for giving me the idea to use a journal.

Jimmy will play a larger role, so yes, his POV will continue.

They do riff off each other well! One of those accidental discoveries that just really worked.

Thank you!

Penelope said...

Girl, you are not done with rehab. If Toad likes you so much, he can come visit.

And in any case, would she just be leaving for the sake of leaving? What does a person do when she has no sense of direction?

I love the way Jimmy calls her Rennie. :D

S.B. said...

Pen, thank you! I love little things like that, the way someone pronounces a name differently.

Would she be leaving just to be leaving? Since she doesn't have a clue what to do with herself now, no sense of direction is right, she very well might just follow the nearest taillights, hoping the driver knows where they hell he's going.

Toad is definitely irresponsible and impulsive. Advising her to stay put, get well, and wait is not something he'd do.

Thank you!

Sinclair said...

Yay for that couple! I think they're good for each other. They can support each other through all the trouble bound to pop up in their lives. Plus Rayne needed a new man around.

And the fact hes actually not a dick is nice. I always like seeing assholes with a heart.

S.B. said...

Sinclair, asshole with a heart or not, they do seem to like each other. He's not a dick. He's got competition though. Personally really love the guy!

S@ndy said...

This was another very enjoyable chapter... I love the diary entries!

I'm glad you are showing us a little more of Toad, he really is a fascinating character!

LOL I think Rayne has already some kind of feelings for him.. and her comment about the receptionist was mere jealousy, of course he is kind of hot even if she doesn't want to admit it!!!

this chapter made me think of --Two less lonely people in the world!-- song, I'm such a romantic!!!

I'm hoping this pair will be able to help each other, even if they don't end up married and with a bunch of children, it will be awesome if they tried to get out of their hole together!!

His offer to leave is quite tempting, I don't think is the best thing to do, but it is so tempting, I would take it... there is a connection between them...I can even say (even swear) that he knows Rayne best than anyone else in her family or friends...

I'm really enjoying the turns you are taking with Passages and its characters!!!! Really well done!! Bravo!!

S.B. said...

thank you S@nday. These two are a lot of fun to work with!

Jimmy brings a different personality to the table, and he sees Rayne in a different way. Of course it helps that she opened up to him completely which she has not done with anyone else. I think Nic would have reacted sympathetically if she'd been honest with him. Not sure about Cruz. He was on the receiving end of some of Rayne's more selfish behavior.

thank you for all the support you've given both of us for such a long time. We really appreciate it!

Penelope said...

So I've been thinking about this (says Penelope, 5 million years after reading) and does Cooper feel a bit threatened by Jimmy? Sure, Cooper is a legend and still a pretty big deal but he and his band are getting older. Meanwhile Jimmy is young and talented and Cooper seems to genuinely dislike him without ever having really met him. Is there a chance that he could be afraid of being ousted by Jimmy or someone like Jimmy?

Gayl said...

Hey Pen! Stepping in front of Beth to respond to this if I may...Coop isn't threatened by Jimmy. He wouldn't even know who Jimmy was unless the guy had some serious talent. Jimmy is creative and talented but also very insecure and self-destructive. He abuses alcohol and drugs, misses gigs, shows up wasted. In Coop's mind, why would he want a guy like that on his label or near his daughter? That is pretty much where he is coming from with regard to Jimmy. Coop isn't afraid of losing rock monster status, that won't happen. But he is fine with sharing the spotlight with other talent. Hope that makes some sense.

Penelope said...

Yes, indeedy. Thanks, Gayl. ;)

thelook said...

Toad's on a mission! Not sure where he's going but if he drags Rayne into it and it fails miserably he'll have Cooper to talk to. But if it works... :)

S.B. said...

Hi the look! Toad's taking a bigger chance than he should. The opportunity he thinks he has is shaky - Gemma seems to have exaggerated his contract prospects. Encouraging Rayne to piss off her father is not the best way to get what he wants either. He hasn't thought this all out...

xtinabobina said...

my reader-self always dies a little inside when I reach the end of a great update.

Gayl, AMAZING recolors of that painting mesh. I love the personalization you added to this update. And don't think I didn't notice those great tattoos on Jimmy. Fabulous work. you're getting really good at those recolors girl!

I personally love using diary entries..and they're perfect for this sort of scenario. i get sucked up into the thoughts of these two very lost souls.

but..what better way to find yourself than by joining up with another lost person? I can see that these two are going to help each other. i can feel it!!

btw. i. love. jimmy.

and the martin.

and his ability to show 'rennie' a thing or two on it! (imagery was great there, i really felt i could hear the plucking of strings)

okay, im done. great work ladies.

S.B. said...


Aren't they GREAT! Gayl is fantastic! I agree, personalizations make the piece!

I really like the diary entries too. Going to have to figure out a way to continue using them.

I love Jimmy too LOL!

thank you thank you!!

goodbye_sun said...

I have the feeling Cooper might just end up regretting giving Rayne the Martin, since it seems to be that thing that bridges "Rennie" and Jimmy together.

S.B. said...

GS, you're right. Sometimes it's the little things that count LOL! Those two were well on their way but the Martin certainly accelerated the process.

cheripye said...

Hmmm so toad has the ability to get her to talk. Nice insight to the inner workings of her mind, and LOL! Gabe and Beth yeah I cant see that. He doesnt seem loathesome, actually he seems rather worth it. 80)

S.B. said...

Cherie, both Gayl and I really like Jimmy LOL! He's definitely not loathsome!

thank you for taking the time to read and leave us comments - your support is really appreciated!

cheripye said...

YW, I have been off the radar for a while and playing catch up is a Bleep! I am trying 80) and he's not so loathesome at all 80)