Day Six
“I do what I want,” Rayne declared. “I’ll stay outside or go inside.” She paused. She heard voices up on the terrace. Would they really come looking for her or was that another part of the package, the threat she was supposed to take seriously but she could push past, ignore. It was an interesting challenge. “Maybe I’ll stay outside.”
Jimmy Breaux leaned back against a rock and smiled and glanced back up at the building and then back at her. “Maybe you will. I don’t know you but you got to know who I am, and you bang on my wall and shout and I hear you too. I don’t give a goddamn, do what you want, sit out here and talk to me or go in.”
“I slept with my mother’s boyfriend.” Rayne said it, said it without thinking twice about it. Without any hesitation. Just took it and threw it down and then thought, oh my god. And then thought, it doesn’t matter. Toad won’t remember anything I say. It was liberating. This was Toad. Fried Brain. She could say anything. Things she would never say in group – oh yeah spill it all and see it all out there somewhere the next day; that was not going to happen, she wasn’t naive. Toad? He wouldn’t remember. She was safe.
Jimmy glanced at her sideways and dragged smoke into his lungs and coughed and said, “Damn….why’d you do that?”
That, of course, was the real question without the real answer. She didn’t have the real answer. Energized, almost enjoying this, Rayne gave him the only answer she had. “I don’t know. I guess I thought I was in love with him; I guess I thought he was somebody he wasn’t.”
He looked doubtful. “Yeah? Him, who’d he think you were?”
She'd already told him but maybe he couldn't make the connection between 'mother's boyfriend' and 'mother.' With exaggerated patience, Rayne replied, “My mother.”
He laughed, leaned over until his head was on his knees and laughed until his shoulders shook and finally, in a muffled and half strangled voice said, “Sorry darlin….he’s got some trouble with his eyes?”
“He was drunk,” she huffed; he hadn't misunderstood, he'd made an assumption, caught something she hadn't, and she didn't find it all that amusing now. "I sort of look like my mother.”
Rayne could tell he was trying not to laugh anymore, the long supple curve of his lower lip tightening, blue eyes flashing at her, sliding away. “That’s why Cooper brought you here? He figured it out?”
“He doesn’t know,” Rayne explained, cautiously, not sure she understood what he meant.
Jimmy lit another cigarette, looked at the surf, scratched his bare ankle and said, “How’s he not know? Cooper’s not the boyfriend? Me, I’m confused.”
She climbed to her feet and glared down at him. Even for someone as stupid as Toad, this was ridiculous. “What’re you talking about?” she demanded. “Cooper’s not my boyfriend, he’s my father. You didn’t know that?”
He stared at her, grinned, and shook his head. “Saw you walking around with him but I don’t know shit about his kids, didn’t even know he had kids. Wait, I’m wrong, there’s that boy, he’s good, I saw him open for Cave. He was damn good.”
He sure was. Wyatt could howl like Cooper and rip fire out of the stage with his guitar. Rayne picked at the thought, looking for jealousy, that roach crawling around her brain, intending to stomp on it. Be honest, she scolded herself, look at it, kill it if you see it. It was quiet, just the water and the wind and that silent search. Uncomfortable, Rayne said, “Yes he is.”
Jimmy studied her just as if he knew there was more there, but he let it go and finally said, “That’s the big secret, you did your mother’s boy, you got here for that? Kind of surprised Coop would put up with her having a boy on the side.”
“He didn’t,” Rayne insisted, suddenly defensive on her father’s behalf. “He wouldn’t. She ditched him.” Memory flared, Ryan quietly talking, telling her that her mother had almost left Cooper, never mind what he’d said that night in bed when he thought her mother was with him. Powerful love based on what? Her mother’s loneliness? Whatever it was, Ryan got it wrong. She’d gotten it wrong. She hesitated, thinking about getting it wrong, thinking about Gabe, wanting to empty Gabe out on the beach, upturn the whole bucket and dump it. “There was more.”
He tapped ash, muttering about his cigarette getting wet, but he didn’t go inside, waiting and watching her. “You got a lot of shit for a girl like you. Tell the rest then.”
This was the silly part, the part nobody would ever understand. Toad would never remember anything she said though, and it was comfortable sitting out here with him and saying anything she felt like saying. Rayne leaned forward, making it something close to a whisper. “I crushed on a guy I met when I was a kid and kept looking for him. At Christmas I finally ran into him, and he blew me off. It hurt, it really hurt, and yeah it sounds crazy. He…I thought he was something different, unreal, you know, a dream person. The one person for me. I didn’t know he was…something he wasn’t. And an asshole.”
Jimmy shrugged. “His loss. Some old dream dude, got some gray hairs on him, you don’t want him. Is he hot for your momma too?”
For some reason that struck her as hysterically funny…Gabe and her mother, wonder if Gabe could get past her father much less freaking Ryan. Rayne laughed until she choked, until he pounded her on the back, laughing along with her.
“Guess not,” he finally managed to say through the laughter.
“You want to get out of here?” he asked abruptly. “Go somewhere?”
Restless, Rayne considered it. If the offer had come from someone else, if she was sitting here with Nic and he suggested it, or Cruz, she would probably go. She wanted to go. Instead of tossing out a flat refusal, she tried to twist it a little. “If we leave, they’ll kick us out.”
“No they won’t.” Jimmy eased up, a long and lazy stretch, watching her, and his voice changed, dropping lower, softer. “I don’t know what your daddy’s paying them, but I’m putting out big bank. Let’s say you flunk the piss test, you think they’re going to toss you out? Hell no. They’ll be happy; they think you gonna fail, make their day, give em something to do the next day, for them that’s a good thing. Come on, you want to go, I see you want to go, let’s go.”
Go somewhere with him? Talking to Toad was one thing; going anywhere with him was a totally different thing; and if he thought he had any chance in the world with her…after the men she’d had, she’d hook up with this loser? Even blind drunk she could do better. Rayne stood up and knocked wet sand off the back of her jeans with one firm slap and smiled. “Not with you. Nite Toad.”
Jimmy yelled at her back, “What’d you call me?”
Without turning around, she didn't have to turn around to know he was there, didn't have to look at him to know his expression, laughing, Rayne shouted, “You heard me! Goodnight Toad.”
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NEXT CHAPTER: Passages 17
37 comments:
These two really do have an interesting dynamic. It seems to me that he's the first one who actually "gets" her. Not that that's necessarily a good thing in this particular case, but this was a fascinating exchange.
Great update!
Thanks so much Van! He's a musician, and he's coming from a strange place himself. But you're right, not necessarily a good thing. Thank you!!
hahaha
this was undeniably entertaining! i really really like 'toad'. i think he's going to put rayne in perspective...or at least help her sort things out in her head. I like how she thinks she's too good for him..but she's in the same shit hole as he is. ha!
she'll figure it out i think.
i can't wait to see more of jimmy. i just can't get over his little case of bad-ass-ness.
and, sigh, your shots ARE JUST RIGHT! as always.
and your writing? really funny this time around, great job sb <3
Hey Xtina! Yeah, Miss Rayne thinks she's way too good for Jimmy, and she's almost exactly the same. I really loved working with both of them. Jimmy just jumped right out at me.
It's hard to take shots and make them interesting when it's one place and all they do is talk. Thank you!!
I like that she finally had someone that she could open up to but...is Toad as baked as Rayne thinks he is? It's amazing what you remember when you don't think you will. Yeah, that comment made sense! LOL!!
And Rayne is in rehab because she's an addict. How is she any better than Toad?
I was cracking up. There was a lot of humor in this update. I like it. And your shots, regardless of them just sitting there talking, you had wonderful angles and everything looks natural.
Wonderful, wonderful! As always!;)~
Hmm...I wonder if Jimmy is as out of it as Rayne thinks he is. Perhaps she's just underestimating him. Jimmy really fascinates me though. It's sad that he seems totally intent on wasting himself. There must be an interesting story in his past.
I think you're too hard on yourself about the pictures. They're great and you really worked the angles to make them interesting and different from each other so they didn't feel like a bunch of talking heads.
P.S. Love Jimmy's ironic shirt. ;)
ASK thank you! have to admit I'm fascinated with Jimmy too. And the shirt...LMAO!! Oh yeah. Gayl found that. Irresistible.
Rayne either underestimates or overestimates everybody. She doesn't see people clearly, probably because she doesn't listen, she's too busy making her own plans or thinking about what she would like or what she can't get. Immature girl.
and the shots...thank you. It's hard to do this kind of scene, and I really wanted to avoid the talking heads.
And thank you so much for your support - it means a great deal to both of us.
Hi Phoenix! I drafted this as a quick conversation between the two of them, one of the easiest pieces I've ever written. I love these two together!
Is Toad as fully baked as Rayne thinks? He's a lot sharper than she thinks, that's for sure. And she is NO better than he is.
I'm so glad the shots came off as natural. That's always my first concern. Natural, and the right expression, and interesting variety. Thank you!
The first thing I saw was Jimmy's shirt, lol! Good one.
I loved this exchange between the two. Or I should say, I loved Rayne's outpouring here. Sometimes it is easier to just tell a stranger something. It's safe in a way. He's in no position to judge her. And if he can't remember, then that's all the better.
She kept saying he won't remember it anyway. The repetition is telling. Clearly she's trying to assure herself that it's okay to talk because clearly she needs to do it. But if he remembers she is going to be shocked!
You are WAY too hard on yourself, especially with the pictures. These were prefect. Sometimes the most important exchanges happen in quiet. Two people just sitting around, hanging out and spilling their guts.
Lunar Fox, it less an exchange than Rayne's attempt to dump her burden, and do it without harming anyone. She can't talk about Ryan. And she feels like an idiot talking about Gabe. She sure hopes Jimmy isn't going to remember anything.
Not sure she's right. But he really does not care. There's a reason he didn't know she was Cooper's daughter; he doesn't pay attention.
I always panic about the shots. It takes me days to set up, to map out the shots in my draft. This scene was important.
Thank you!!
Nice conversation, maybe Rayne now that she has cleansed her soul, can move past all this 'stuff', what amazed me is Fried Brain actually listened. And I think, he will remember every word.
Great update!
thank you Drew.
Jimmy is one of those people who actually do listen. If Rayne thinks he won't remember anything, she's probably wrong.
Thank you so much!
It is easy to underestimate a guy like Jimmy. What does anyone really know about him? Not much.
Rayne needed someone she could talk to and in her mind he was the perfect choice because he wouldn't care and wouldn't remember. Probably the best therapy she could get would be from his perspective. And the same could possibly be said for him. And I must say I love his eyes, one of my favorite things about him.
You did a fantastic job capturing shots and keeping them real. The pace was perfect and I LOVED that last paragraph!!
Gayl, I just adore Jimmy! You did a fantastic job bringing some kind of glimmer to full flame - and yeah his eyes are beautiful.
If Rayne can see past her own preconceptions and, frankly, spoiled princess upbringing (Ryan just gave her sharper weapons), I think she can give back to Jimmy. He's probably as wary as she is. He's definitely not as brain dead as she thinks.
thank you so much. You know how important it is to me to keep the shots natural and real. I'll sacrifice everything before I settle for wooden crap or talking heads.
Oh. My. God. I totally died just now! No she did NOT just call him Toad out loud! :D *hehehe*
I rather like this Jimmy fellow. He is so incredibly skuzzy. And I wonder how he and Coop know each other. Is it just through reputation? Toad really hit the nail on the head with those questions though. Was it coincidental that he would ask who Ryan thought Rayne was or is he that intuitive?
I swear, you ladies find new ways make me drool over Bon Voyage all the time. Such incredible beach scenes!
Aww. I think Raynie has made a friend.
Pen, LMAO yeah she did. And deliberately.
Jimmy is deliciously scuzzy. Coop knows Jimmy and vice versa because they're in the same business, not because they've ever crossed paths. Reputation only would be accurate.
For Jimmy, asking Rayne who Ryan thought she was, that was an obvious question. So what if her mother was screwing Ryan? Didn't mean that Ryan thought Rayne was her mother. In Jimmy's world, that's not a given. He's both intuitive and very, very scuzzy.
Thank you so much about the shots. Yeah, Rainie's made a friend. The Frog Prince.
And I want to add that it's so good to hear from you again. It means a lot to me. I hope you're doing ok.
That last shot was PERFECT! I could hear her laughing saying "You heard me! Goodnight Toad."
He definitely has my attention! There is something weird about him. It's like, on one hand he understands her. Someone she can talking to that won't think she has lost her mind. Then on the other, you get this feel like "don't trust him". Cooper did warn her. Even more now I'm wondering why.
I'm glad Rayne finally spilled her dirt, but I don't think that the Toad is as baked and she thinks. Jury is out on him for now. But he definately has an appeal, one that I hope Rayne doesn't get sucked into. Might be too late for that though.
I love the feel of this piece. The shots and the conversation are so natural. The mood is quiet, dark, private. Much like a confessional oddly enough. A lot more happened here than you think.
Very well done.
Qui, THANK YOU!! I had several variations on that shot but that one captured what I wanted - Rayne walking away laughing and throwing the word 'Toad' at him.
She thinks she's in control. She thinks she knows Jimmy, she thinks he's totally baked. He's not. He's a drug addicted rock star, but he listened to her, and he heard her.
Why did Cooper warn her off? We're working on that...
Thank you so much!!
Muzegoddess, hell no he's not as baked as Rayne thinks he is. He's a musician, a very talented musician, and he's charismatic.
If the mood came across as quiet and dark and private, then I accomplished what I wanted to do. The interaction between the two of them flares up and down, Rayne's condescension and Jimmy's amusement. They're playing off each other. She may be over her head with him. And he may be over his head with her.
thank you...
something tells me Toad is not as fried as Rayne thinks he is...
And wow the shots were just incredible. It's so hard to get everything you need from the camera when the chapter is mostly dialogue (and incredibly witty dialogue it was, too!) - and I have to say, you did it wonderfully. Great, great job :D
Thank you Christi...your shots are so beautiful, and these are definitely not perfect. I got tired of fighting with some of them and got what I could get.
Toad is nowhere near as fried as Rayne thinks he is. And, turning it around, she's not exactly who he thinks she is either.
thank you so much!!
i had to come back and read it again just so i can get a dose of Jimmy.
i have to reiterate how much i love him.
awww...he is a charmer!
Jimmy is a sly one, he probably knows people underestimate him an takes full advantage of it. But even if it was a little underhanded, Rayne needed to say all that out loud, and with time she might even work out that as hard as she tries, she is in the same boat as he is.
GS, that has to be right, he would know people underestimate him, and he would both take advantage of it and probably resent it, both and at the same time.
Rayne certainly needs to admit that she's there with Jimmy for more than an unusual spa treatment. Addiction is not glamorous.
thank you!
I can't say anything but.. aww. The only one who half; semi understands. :')
thelook...thank you. Yes, he is the only one who has understood. Despite very different backgrounds, they have a lot in common. And he listened to her.
I would like to say that im excited to see what Toad looks like when he's got his stuff together. I bet he's hot as hell. Plus its funny how much Rayne underestimates him. She of all people should know not to judge by appearances.
And i'm still waiting for the explosion of shit hitting a fan when Cooper does find out about her and Ryan. I forget but does Beth know about that whole thing? That is going to be one awesome chapter to read. Though when that does happen Rayne officially earns the title of "whore" for life. But still. Cant. Wait. :)
Hi Sinclair!
I'm not sure Cooper will ever find out about Ryan and his daughter. There are huge consequences if he does, legal and personal consequences. We'll think about it again though.
Beth knows. And she did confront Rayne about it. (http://tinyurl.com/yhr3qp4) There is absolutely nothing she can do about it though. Does she consider her daughter a whore? Something close to it. Rayne has no explanation her mother would accept.
as for Jimmy, yeah, he will definitely clean up nice!
Rayne's first impression of Jimmy was bad, deservedly bad. His behavior was almost exactly like hers. She still hasn't admitted that. She's not processing logically yet.
Thank you so much!
I have to go with Goodbyesun on this one, I also believe Toad takes full advantage of people underestimating him!
Raine I think she is doing great, at least she said it all to Toad, maybe next time she will speak it up in front of a group therapy, who knows... she already accepted what she did.. that's the first step.
LOL.. it is funny she thinks she is kinda of better than Toad,lol they are there for the same reason..
This was really entertaining, really easy to read and enjoyable!!!!
thank you S@ndy.
Rayne won't speak up in front of a group. She doesn't trust that anything she says won't be leaked.
Jimmy can't continue the underestimation game if he wants to make living doing what he wants to do.
Thank you so much!
I loved this exchange. At least Rayne finally found someone she could let her guard down with and get everything out in the open :-D
Yes, Valpre, she finally did meet someone. A screwed up rock star whom her father can't stand ;D.
thank you so much for taking the time to read and give me feedback. I really appreciate it!
What makes her think that this guy's brain is fried, or that he won't be able to remember their conversation? I don't know who she's been talking to, but he seems pretty clear-headed to me. I have a funny feeling she's going to be really surprised!
Colliegirl, Rayne is making a judgment based on a very unpleasant first impression. Spending time in group with a guy who is going through withdraws, can't hold his own cigarette, surly and strange...but his brain definitely isn't fried.
She'll be surprised...
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and leave a comment!!
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