"You're his son?"
No one answered. Camilla was leaning against the chair in the corner of the office and checking her shoes. Cruz was looking out the window. Cold air was prying through a crack in the garage door, under the door. Neither of them looked at her; neither of them answered.
Wyatt was coming into the foyer, pausing to wait for Cade, stepping aside to take her arm before coming through the door and letting the door close behind him. He stamped his feet, knocking snow on the floor, looking at Camilla, looking at Cruz, looking at Rayne who was standing with her back to the wall. "Hey Cruz. Uh...hi Cam."
Camilla murmured a low and distracted word that might have been 'hello' or might not have been.
Cruz looked at Wyatt and looked back at Rayne. The snack machine kicked in. A loud mechanical whump and the light flickered on the front panel and flashed orange. He breathed, slowly, carefully, and did not respond or answer her question.
Turning to Wyatt, he said, "Yeah, ok, thanks Wy, Rayne needs a ride, appreciate it."
"I do not need a ride, I need some answers." Rayne walking unsteadily out of the snack machine light, ignoring Wyatt, ignoring Camilla, glaring up at Cruz. "You're his son? You - you let me - you did that - you knew - did he know? Did he know, did you both know all this time? Is somebody here going to tell me what's going on?"
Wyatt was glancing down at Cade, and back again at his sister, moving to intercept. Cruz trying to explain, finally faced her.
"No, wait a minute, Rainie I didn't know anything - "
"You didn't know? You expect me to believe you didn't know?" She was screaming now, screaming, "You're his son?! I didn't even know he was real and you're his SON?"
Camilla shoved between Wyatt and Cade and Cruz, half pass across the floor, heels tapping on the wet tile. "Oh my god Rayne, shut up. I have no idea what Gabe did to you or with you but nobody wants to hear you whine about Gabe. You sound like Amanda and believe me darling that is no compliment."
Staggering forward, slipping where Camilla had not slipped. "You stupid whore, like I need compliments from you, you don't know shit, all you know is what you can fuck," Rayne spat, "and you got damned lucky with Heydon."
"You'd better take the wheels off that training bra and learn a few things yourself sweetie since it's pretty obvious you do not know one single thing about men not one single simple little thing. You don't even know when it's not just fuck and when it's more than that. And look at your face do you even know what you look like now?"
"We're leaving," Wyatt announced grabbing Rayne around the waist with one arm and shoving the door open with the other, Rayne protesting “wait wait let go let me go” while he tightened his hold on her. "Cade will you bring the car up closer? I don't think she's going to make it across the parking lot."
Cruz watched them, offering no final promise to call her, offering nothing, Rayne walking with Wyatt, still fighting it, Wyatt growling, "Can't believe you said that about Cam in front of Cade." The door closing on them, the room quiet now, Camilla still there.
Leaning against the desk, Camilla softly spoke to his back. "If Gabe had her, she won't come back to you."
"He never touched her." He still gazed out the window. Wyatt was stuffing Rayne into the car, little brunette girlfriend trying to help, he could see her trying to console Rayne. The latch on the door was sticking, Wyatt swearing, Rayne still yelling, Cade raising her voice in return.
He repeated the phrase because there wasn't anything else to say. "He never touched her."
Camilla sighed, walked around him, put one hand on the door and paused. "Yes he did. Maybe not the way you're thinking about it but something happened and you can't deny it and you can't undo it. It's just exactly too late. I'm sorry honey, I really am."
She left, striding down the sidewalk, long model strides, one foot and then the other foot, very sure in those heels, not looking back.
Cruz stood in the empty street in the pale cold light, stood there in the snow, long after she’d gone. The snow fell on him. It fell on the street. He could no longer see the end of road through the snow.
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NEXT CHAPTER: Passages 14
52 comments:
Rayne needs to be slapped in rehab already, I like Cammie giving her a deserved slap upside the head, verbally speaking.
Wyatt will be a strong shoulder for Rayne to lean on. If she goes away for awhile, I won't complain, LOL!
I felt for Cruz here, great capture of emotion on his face. And of course, the snow adds to the bleak starkness of his confused emotions. Love the snow starting to fall in the last shot.
Great update.
But I will say this since you ask for input, I prefer your writing with description as you had in the past, this was perhaps a tad minimal, JMO. Its good to try new things~
It was minimal. I found that trying to avoid attaching POV to any particular person means dumping description too. I'm not happy with it, but it was an experiment, one I probably won't repeat!
I don't see any problem with this or the POV. I use a lot of third person POV, meaning that descriptions carry over all characters, not just limited to one's thoughts or emotions. Sometimes I switch it up, but third person is my drink of choice. This seemed like this, only without unnecessary description.
To be honest, I think "too much" description would have weighted this down. It isn't about the thundering in his/her chest or the crazy tingle of adrenaline and frenzy running through veins or the stark, sarcastic viper-esque smiles... it's just about what it's about--fucked up shit. Doing anything more than minimalist would have stolen away the abruptness of it all. There's plenty of time to flesh out reactions in the future on an individual level.
I thought it worked rather well and I am even more fond of Camilla now. Rayne, I feel for her, but she needs to stop being such a freaking wet rag and come to her senses. Poor Cruz. I feel like there's a ring of truth in Camilla's words... perhaps more than that, even.
Thanks Mao! I'm never very generous with description, but it was kind of bare even for me. I'm still learning how to manage POV when several people are in a room.
Telling Cruz the truth, as Camilla saw it, and she's in a better position to relate what Gabe does to women than anyone else, was an act of mercy on her part. Cruz can't scare her off, and she certainly won't back down from Rayne.
Cruz needs to move on, and he knows it. Rayne needs to grow up.
"You'd better take the wheels off that training bra and learn a few things yourself sweetie..." LMAO. I LOVE Camilla; such a tough broad. Never takes shit from anyone.
Poor little Rainie, just one thing after another. If she hasn't hit rock bottom at this point I'm really scared for her. And Cruz seems really freaked out about this whole thing. I wouldn't blame him if he ran the other way and never looked back.
I think that this experiment with POV works for this piece. This situation is volatile and explosive, much like watching a car crash in slow motion. You don't need a lot of description because it's all unfolding right in front of you. Nobody's particular point of view matters because no matter what it's messed up and sad for everyone involved. Hell, working with five sims in the same place is hard enough without working in what each of them is thinking or feeling. I think you did very well here. Great update.
OMG! I ♥ this! I like how it was like a sucker punch to the gut. Tight and just right in your face(or stomach since I used that analogy!).
I normally don't like Cam but in this update she had it right. Rayne needs to pull it together. Cruz didn't do anything that SHE didn't initiate. Or is she forgetting that part?
Cruz is just a bystander here who's just floundering around trying to get his feet back under him. Rayne needs something...someone needs to have a long sit down with her and explain that she's acting like a little girl(I was going to say something else but decided against it!:P).
I didn't get a chance to read your previous post about what you were trying to do with this story(no person point of view) but whatever you did it worked.
Your writing was phenomenal!
Muzegoddess, thank you!
Yeah Camilla is a tough broad. She knows who she is and what she is, and she's not apologizing.
Rainie has hit rock bottom. Cruz is freaked out. This is way outside his comfort zone.
I hope it worked. If it didn't, it was an experiment I don't need to repeat. But having so many people there, with so many different issues...well it was a perfect time to try it.
Rayne looks like hell! though i doubt it, i hope she can get it together!
Poor Cruz! He just learned of Gabe's relation to him and already feeling the pain! So what will happen if and when the two meet again.. i can't wait!!!
loved it!
Hey Phoenix! You thought it worked? I hope so!
Cruz is definitely the bystander watching the accident and not sure who has what going on. Rayne's acting like a bitch. A spoiled brat bitch. She's hurt too, and she's got her daddy's temper, and she's going to use it.
OMG not phenomenal but thank you so much!
Hi Qui!
So, you think Gabe and Cruz should meet again? Maybe they should, although I think Cruz will be disappointed if he thinks Gabe has much to offer him.
Rayne has friends she can turn to. Sometimes the guy you think is perfect might not be the one you need or end up loving.
Cruz isn't as tough as Aunt Camilla. He's definitely feeling the pain.
thank you so much for taking the time to read and leave me a comment. This was hard to write.
Oh wow. Raine... that girl needs some help. Daddy should get her the best team of therapists money can buy :S
Sorry about the short comment, I'm leaving town tomorrow and I'm rushing around trying to get a bunch of things in order for the trip.
I've been struggling to keep up with work I love, including yours. So please please never apologize for short comments.
Daddy will take care of Rayne. She's not without personal resources. Change of venue perhaps.
Thank you so much. And my wish for fair weather and fair wind behind you for your trip.
omg-- I've seriously been waiting ALL DAY! Okay, I absolutely think this was perfect. This entire experiment worked.
I mean, yes there's different types of third person types of views, generally when people talk of no one point of view they're meaning omniscient, so you can see everyone's point of view which is a little distracting to me as a reader.
But this was perfect. The minimal works because as Muzegoddess says the situation is tense and full of emotions and oh so complex. This minimal descriptions (though I LOVED the details that added to the atmosphere like the vending machine kicking in with a "loud mechanical whump") and the focus on the actions instead of everyone present lets us as the reader fill in the gaps.
It's like we're there in the room, no thoughts in our head, watching the whole scene play out uncomfortably.
And I think one of the biggest mistakes we often make as writers with stories to tell is that we don't trust the reader enough, and here you are trusting us enough to understand what is going on.
Rayne, oh my heart hurts for her, but you know, Camilla-- thank you. She needs a friend more like Camilla who'll tell her that she needs to get real. Sometimes we all need a slap like that back into reality. Maybe if Rayne had that, she wouldn't have spiraled so deeply into this little world she's fabricated for herself.
But mostly, I feel for Cruz. That last picture of him, and the description of the bleak world around him-- I just want to hug him and tell him that it's probably for the best she leaves. (Swear not to just to move in on him!)
OMG Lunar Fox thank you! I didn't want omniscient, I wanted to make it clear and open. Leave it as blank as I could make it. They are there and they are dealing with what they have to deal with, without any written interpretation.
Putting Camilla into any situation usually means ripping a hole through fantasy. Rayne needs that reality check.
Cruz has lost the girl he wanted. He knows it. He lost her to his father, a dream of his father, but it doesn't matter how unreal it was, she's gone. Like Cammie, he's grounded and practical. He knows a lost cause when he sees it.
Ok I swear! It's not possible without violating who he is.
I want to say thank you, and tell you how much I appreciate your support for my writing. I keep trying. Thank you. So much.
I need to add you on LJ to catch your updates because heaven knows I was waiting for this!
I love Rayne's reaction. Is it sensible? Not really. She still has a lot of issues she needs to sort out before she reaches sense, but it's real. I would expect no less from someone in her position. And she really does look like a mess.
Wyatt and Cade, to me, felt like bystanders in this chapter, but I think that's what you wanted. Someone to start picking up the debris without necessarily having a large role in making the mess.
Cam is the type of character I would love writing. Someone who hits front-on. She seems to "see" more than most of the characters.
And what is Cruz going to do now? It's a little "prince charming" to hope that he'll chase after Rayne, but I don't think he'll leave it like that either.
As for the writing, I definitely thought it was minimal, but suitably so. You could have went much more minimal, but I like the amount of detail. It seems almost a 180 degree turn from what I commented on last chapter. It's a difficult happy medium to find.
The only drawback was that it was too short! But that's just me. If the story is good, I never want the chapters to end.
Lotus, I should have dedicated this one to you. I stripped it down after thinking about what you said. Yes it is difficult to find a happy medium. I tried to find it.
I have to write short pieces. I lose focus if they're longer.
Rayne. Blasted and gutted and angry and confused.
Wyatt and Cade. Wyatt is pissed because Rayne started throwing it at Camilla about Heydon, and Heydon is Cade's father. He's protective and in love.
Camilla. She's someone I find hard to categorize. Sometimes silly. Sometimes wise. Sometimes way too invested in her family. She's not always right. But she understands more than almost anyone else and nobody scares or intimidates her. I almost think of her as the priestess of South Beach. The one who sees everything but what she tells you, you might not like and might not understand, but she'll say it and leave it with you.
Oh my god I hope nobody thinks I do prince charming. Cruz won't chase after Rayne. You're right though. He won't simply let it go and leave town and get another girlfriend and blow it off. Like finding a replacement puppy when the one he had bit him.
Thank you. I really do want the feedback, and I really do use it.
Thank god for Camilla! Honestly someone needed to tell Rayne to shove it a longgg time ago. And quite frankly I'm tired of looking at her ugly face. Girly needs to get it together cause she's getting harder to look at in this condition.
Plus I like how Rayne tried to take it to the queen bee. As if that was possible. And as if Camilla hasnt been a bitch for the last 20 something years. Yea right Rayne lol.
Poor Cruz. All these things going on and he has a dad who will not give a shit that he has a kid. I hope Cruz doesnt get his hopes up.
And Wyatt...once again his timing is impeccible. Scolding Rayne as if a. she gives a flying fuck about Cade and b. she's in any condition to be yelled at for anything other than being a hot mess. I do hope she puts him in his place because he just gets on my nerves like none other.
OMFG Sinclair!
Yeah well nobody NOBODY is going to get it over on Camilla. Queen Bee is right. Nobody does the bitch slap like Camilla. Been there seen all of it and Rayne's no match for her.
Now that's interesting about Wyatt. He's going to say something to his sister even if she doesn't give a damn, and she doesn't, about Cade. Will Rayne come back at Wyatt? Probably not. She doesn't really care.
Cruz doesn't need anything from Gabe. He's not looking for a father. He didn't know Gabe existed. Cruz doesn't have any emotional issues about Gabe. He'd shove him through the nearest wall if he had the chance.
and ok I promise no more Rayne ugly face! Enough is enough.
Camilla didn't take long to get back into her stride, and as usual, she delivered quite a punch. She does have a talent for delivering the truth with and extra side of bitch, but most of the time its about the only approach that will actually make things sink in.
I don't know whats going to be worse for Rayne, dealing with the Gabe aftermath, or dealing with her family now that they are going to see what state she is in. The first probably hurts more now, but the second is probably going to sting for much longer.
I have to admit I wasn't as keen on this approach writing style wise, just because it seemed a little too heavy handed. Like you were trying so hard to strip it back, that it did feel more forced than what you usually write. It was perfectly clear, I knew what was going on, the words were as well constructed as always, but it didn't read like you were entirely comfortable with it. Thats just another opinion among many others, don't over analyse or stress about it, quit worrying about everything and just write.
goodbye_sun, I tried hard to do something I was uncomfortable doing, and it didn't feel right. But I do try. If I get feedback, you know I try to listen to it.
Rayne will survive. And Camilla does what Camilla does.
I'm not sure what I'm doing now. I can't make it work.
I think you're being a little hard on yourself - the emotions here were very effective and set up a crossroads for Cruz and another one for Rayne; they've both had sharp, unexpected shocks, in different ways.
I feel very sorry for Rayne. Yes she needs the reality check, but reality bites! I hope she finds some resolve and a new direction from here though I think it will always sting a little. Cam is so direct, she is very truthful, but man is she cold. I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of her truth-telling.
I think Cruz meeting Gabe again would be interesting but I don't see them having a long chat and getting everything out in the open; but if they had a chance encounter in a bar or street (etc) it'd be interesting to see what developed and whether/how they would acknowledge each other.
Hi Rad! Thank you - I think I'm more comfortable with my normal writing style. This was definitely a bit forced since it was unnatural for me to write like that.
Rayne has to go in another direction. This has gone as far as it can, or as far as I ever anticipated taking it.
Playing around with the mental image of Gabe and Cruz running into each other. Gabe might be a little more sympathetic in a different environment, although you're right, I cannot imagine him engaging in a long chat.
Camilla can be absolutely brutal. She's not always right, either. Her lack of empathy can blind her.
Thank you so much!
*hyperventilating* Wow. I have to sum up 3 years work of awesomeness that I read in a week in a small box? Wow.
Cruz is so like Gabe in looks but in mind he's like Lady A. He might be going for gold and getting silver he'll still try and get that gold. If that made sense.
I swear I could push Cam off a cliff! Family matters and okay she wasn't too sure who he was but still! She's like the secret keeper! She knew who Johnny was but oh, it was okay for him to die first? I still like her for some reason. Retired porn star :')
And Rayne! Your dream man is and will always be Gabe. And he is no dream. No matter how hard you chase him love, he'll just keep on running.
BETH AND COOPER AND STEVIE AND RYAN IS LIKE A LOVE SQAURE! Cooper and Stevie may be 'old news' but they had something even if it was a spark in the mens room; Beth and Ryan? It was so never a nothing but if they got together how would it pass out? Not nice probably.
Wow. Wow. Wow. That does not even describe a fraction of your work. :')
Hi thelook (ok have to stop and say I adore ADORE that name!!)!
You read ALL OF IT? Wow wow wow from me back at you!
I was wondering when or if someone would see Cruz and Lady A like that. Yes he is like his mother. She didn't give up, and if Gabe was ever attached to anyone, it was Amanda. She never got the gold though, you are absolutely right.
Cam is the secret keeper (and again, love that). She didn't like it when Johnny got pushed off the roof, but she didn't expect it. She didn't do anything in advance to forestall it either. She's a piece of work.
Camilla is also right to tell Cruz that once Gabe had Rayne, she's gone. Gabe is Rayne's dream man. She'll never catch him. Every other man in her life will be held up against him.
And that square? LMAO oh yes!! Cooper and Stevie were hot when they were together. He was shocked when he found her in bed with Shaun, and it's anybody's guess what would have happened if he hadn't run back to Julia. Beth and Ryan - it was never a nothing. It was a big SOMETHING. They both know it. And the heat is still there.
Thank you. Beyond thank you. Finding your comment here absolutely made me jump up and down! Thank you SO MUCH!! I don't know how you found our work, but from both of us, thank you.
Thank you about the name; I'd say my inspiration but then it could get punched and fall off of a roof. :(
I got it from Phoenix's reading list! That place.. damn. :P Took me a while but the wait is more than worth it!
When Cooper caught Stevie and Shaun in bed and he talked about the eyes thing all I could say was 'Holy crap. He's going to fall in love with this guy and forget Julia!' Major shock, lol.
R&B; smooth tones; easy beat but slicing lyrics.
OMG I never thought of that!
Cooper's thoroughly hetero so Shaun wasn't going to be an option but I'm laughing so hard THANK YOU!
Hmmm...Rafe punching you and knocking you off a roof probably not!
Now I'm totally intrigued. Looking up all options for 'the look'. Starting with R&B.
And please tell. Do you have a site? Will you share?
I always got reminded of those looks people tend to give you; you know your in trouble; you can't escape so you have to face up to it even if it means risking everything. :D
R&B; ohh I meant Ryan and Beth :P They might have that 'click' but it doesn't mean they have the right part. Crisps, I need to stop with all the riddles! :D
Making a website and having a story would be great but I broke my computer :O Which is where I have Sims and anything I would possibly use for a story. *sigh*
Sorry, if I got some things mixed up I tend to be a mixer :)
Ryan and Beth are like that. Smooth tones, easy beat and slicing lyrics. Slicing right through the bone.
don't mind me, I'm always just intrigued with anyone who reads our work, I want to see if they have some. So forgive please. I can get pushy. I'm like the dog with 'eye'. I chase.
You didn't get anything mixed up! I'm so grateful I'm falling all over myself. It's been a bad week for me. You can probably tell that from some of the comments. So I'm just very grateful.
:) I didn't think you were being pushy. It's nice knowing people want to read your stuff; 'show 'em what you got' as they say. Soon, I will. I just need that push.
Bad week; good week; you just pull through; stick your tongue out at the world and do what you do best. It can only go from there, right?
Ok you got the push. Anything you need from me, you've got it.
Yeah you're right. Get up out of the snowdrift and quit the pity party and move on.
I do need one minor thing. How'd you pronounce Rayne's name? Rain or Ray-knee? So minor yet oh so important.
Now that opens up something that's very personal for me. Rain.
Rayne's name is pronounced like 'rain'. When someone calls her Rainie, that's a nickname.
Skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.
I am such a spammer! :')
Girl you are a dreamer! and a poet!
Well sometimes the dreams do come true. If you sort of hedge on the details. Or you get really lucky.
Spam away!!
This going to bother my conscience so I'll just say.. those were song lyrics! From 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' by Judy Garland. Don't know if her surname's right but I gave it a shot! Does luck even exist anymore?? Seems like it vanished or maybe THAT was a dream :)
Hmm question - how'd you start writing? I get the idea but then I think it over and it's too not 'me'. I want something I would write if you catch my drift? It's a bit like Rayne and Gabe. See it, touch it, miss it.
somewhere over the rainbow. Yes, that was Judy Garland. that soaring, heartbreaking, dream it and wish it and maybe it will be real voice.
Do I believe in luck? I believe you can bang into situations and people and wonderful things happen if you're open to it. Happened to me so it can happen to anyone. I go after it though LOL.
I think you're talking about writing in this community, not when I started writing. I am not a trained writer. I started writing when I was 6 years old. Here? I started about 4 years ago. I just did it.
There's no downside. It is NOT like Rayne and Gabe. Find it fast or it's gone and you keep looking for it.
You just do it. Anything you want to write about. When I started, it was so freaking lame. I put up some crap on TSR and just did it.
But it's not like you're writing for some Nobel prize in writing. You're writing for fun, because you want to just explore what you can do. Who cares if it's not perfect?
It's just a long, lovely, never ending game with yourself and the world.
Start with one person you know, or you want to know. And let it move on from there.
Now that, is timeless advice! Now for my notepad and pencil. Thanks SB for being awesome! In the space of like an hour or two okay maybe 3, lol you've helped major. Enjoy your evening! Or afternoon. Or the rest of the day. You, my very cool writing friend deserve it.
I don't think writing is like science, but maybe it is. You start looking, and try it, and if it doesn't work, you talk to people you know and see what they think. And redo the equations. And plug them in and try again.
String theory didn't come out of a vacuum. It took people working together, because that's what people do. That's how we make everything happen. Bronze. Iron. Steel. It's never done by one person alone. Writing isn't an effort to find the theory of everything, but it's the same thing. We use each other because that's what we do, if we have half a brain.
Anytime. And again, thank you. You made my day!
GAHHh okay so like, I'm LAAATE at reading this number one (I swear, I always get around to it!! :( ) but wowww I feel so bad for Cruz. He is so in love with Rayne and now everything is just crashing down for him.
And can I just tell you, I seriously stopped and stared at the second to last picture for a good five minutes, just drinking in the scenery? YOU HAVE A FLIPPIN' BUS!!?!! That's totally fantastic in every way. I looooove your sets/cities/neighborhoods/everythingggggg.
Yeah. Drooling done now. :D
Yeah I've got a bus LOL! Several of them actually...I will definitely tell you where I got them if you want them!
My sets are probably the best part of my work.
He is. However, unlike his mother, he probably won't keep chasing what he can't catch.
Thank you!!
My sets are probably the best part of my work.
As much as I do agree that they are ONE OF the best parts, I believe you are far more talented than you give yourself credit for, in your writing, in your characters, in your composition of the entire piece. It's not JUST the sets. :) You are a great inspiration.
And yes!!! I would LOVE to know where the bus comes from!! Do you build all of that background stuff? (skyscrapers and the like) or are they all pre-made?
oh thank you!! What a wonderful thing to say!
I don't make the NB objects. I layer them though. A "skyscraper" might be two skyscrapers plus an embankment plus a blank lot plus streetlights, all layered together for effect. I'd be glad to email you my whole file of NB CC if you'd like it.
oh wow! That'd be awesome... I have like, zero neighborhood decor and I just try to keep rotating through the different scrapers I do have and then build blank buildings on useless lots surrounding it, heh. I really like building the downtown area, though. I'd love to have a sneak peek at some of the stuff you have!! :) eyesofagypsy@gmail.com
Wow, now that was one confrontation, didn't expect much else! And for such a short piece, this really had two powerful lines for me, the one about Rayne saying what she did about Heydon in front of Cade...I didn't even think of that! Now that's pretty awful. And when Cammie said that if Gabe had her she wouldn't come back to Cruz, now I may be horrible but that made me snicker, Gabe's just that good, huh? LOL.
On to the next one, I'm glad I was not as far behind as I thought! :D
LMAO Emily! Not to disrespect Gabe's physical ability, but I think the charm is mostly a very powerful mental illusion.
Rayne was not at all interested in Cade's feelings. Cammie attacked, she fought back. Not really sure Rayne understands much about Cade.
Thank you!
I also think that "Too much description" will have put this chapter down...
the emotions were in very word they said, the emotions were in their faces and body language... your really did an awesome job with the pictures capturing every single detail you didn't put into the writing.
It was clear and to the point!
It worked with this chapter. but I prefer the way you usually write better :D lol
About the chapter! Damn! that was powerful!
I'm catching up and I didn't want to comment before I got to the most recent chapter but I had to, had to, had to say how striking of an image those last sentences produced. I literally stopped breathing. Just extraordinary.
Pen, coming from you, I'm speechless. Your ability to use words to draw a bright image on anything, anything at all, is phenomenal. Thank you.
Well well... Everything is really falling apart and fast. Rayne's quite PO'd that Cruz is really Gabe's son and Camilla's retort that she's acting like amanda LOL!
This was an intense piece and your writing sparkled! I was stuck from the moment I started reading couldnt scroll fast enough. 80)
Oh yes the other thing that struck me.
"If he touched her she wont be coming back..." Ok that was really deep!Your pics really matched everything so greatly!!!
Yes Cherie, it is falling apart, for both Rayne and Cruz. She can't believe he didn't know, and feels foolish and taken in. He knows he's lost her although he didn't do a thing to cause it. The connection will probably be more than Rayne can bear, no matter how innocent Cruz might be. Sometimes innocence is just not enough.
thank you so much!
I really feel for Cruz in all this... all the focus was on messed-up Rainie and her self-destructive problems. Poor Cruz has just had a bomb dropped on his head about who his real father is, and it isn't anything to be proud of with the reputation the guy has got. He looked like he might still be in shock over it... of course, he probably wouldn't want any sympathy from any of them, but still... what a selfish, thoughtless girl that Rainie can be. She can't believe that he didn't know? Didn't any of their past conversations tell her anything? She must not have known him at all.
I don't really care for Camilla either, but she gave him some very smart advice... she's always good for telling things like they are.
That last expression on Cruz's face with the wintry background was very touching... you could tell that he cared about her and was disappointed with the way things turned out. It's sad to think that he never really had a chance with her.. Personally, I think the girl's a blind idiot... Cruz seems to be everything that his father is not - and never will be. A really great guy.
Well done!
Oh yes Colliegirl, Rayne is a selfish thoughtless girl. She used Ryan. She's used Cruz. No she doesn't really care much about him. Cute hot guy she sort of liked.
Camilla isn't very likable either, but she will definitely tell it like she sees it. She's not always right, but she's got a pretty good track record.
Cruz is a doll, a doll who just realized what a totally messed up family he's connected with. He's not the guy for Rayne though.
THANK YOU!!
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